She Cried The Hardest In The Shower

Oh how she simply forgot the longing of a tender hand across her. 

So elegantly her mind traveled away from a pleasant thought. 

Compassion was absent from her vocabulary. 

Like a weed yearning for new ground, hate grew throughout her youthful heart. 

She did the things she held a passion for. 

Not once did she remember the joy that those once brought her. 

Fatigued from the long life of sorrow,

desperate for the familiar comfort she had in herself. 

The drains, they drained out the cries for help.

Masked by the smiles of others, not one could comprehend her true emotion. 

She is not ill, but she takes medicine.

How often did she want to be wanted once again. 

She missed the best of times,

But she's better this way. 

Countdown

Countdown until the days are gone

When all things right are wrong

The pain becomes beautiful to me

Everything happened so easily

The rest of me is long away

My body is all that has remained

Because I want the memories to fade 

Worn heart now has its own shade

I see only black and gray

And There is not a lot that I could possibly say

Too broken to possibly mend

So I sit here patiently waiting for the end

The Broken Body

There are these things called lungs, but mine aren't working. 

There is this thing called a heart, but mine is broken. 

There is a thing called a brain, but mine is clouded. 

There are these things called emotions,

and that's why I'm drowning. 

There are these things called feet,

But I'm at standstill. 

There is this thing called a soul,

And that's why I'm ill. 

There's this person named Summer, 

And then there's this person named Will. 

Infidelity

Infidelity,

Why do you hurt me?

Infidelity,

Why have you deserted me?

Infidelity, 

You are the one haunting me. 

Infidelity,

You said you loved me. 

Infidelity,

Thankfully I have seen. 

Full of Emptiness

Every swallow

Every thought of tomorrow

Everytime I have a chance,

Even with just a glance

Not wanting to be your second place

Like I am trying to breathe in outer space

Hope is a disaster, 

But you are all that matters

In debt because I paid you so much attention

In and out of comprehension

You used to call me "beautiful" like it was my name

Now nothing has been the same

Forever wanting to be your everything

Maybe our love was just simply a fling

But instead of being envious,

I am just now full of emptiness. 

Quick Questions

Why does it seem that every breathing body hates me?
Every new day, a new problem awaits me.
Every sole betrays me?
I used to let these issues not even phase me.
All this hurt,
All this pain
All this negativity
Pours onto me,
Mocking rain
I try to hold the tears
Thinking that might show my fears,
but through these years
I've heard so much in these untroubled ears
I'm ready to disappear
Because now I feel the end drawing near.

Elpisopsis

The only trusting love
is the one that comes from above

Accepts all forms of pain and hurt

From the lost trust and feeling of desert

When the hope of healing and better days,
Slowly start to slip away

Remember and say,

"Suffering does not last forever,

your unfailing love, loves me through whatever. 

Your precious hands crafted me so fine, made the same Being who turned water to wine. 

You mend all that is brutally broken, you are already fixing what has been confessed and what has yet to be spoken. 

Your love lasts forever and more, you are able to end this internal war. 

Though I sometimes fail to obey, you still give me another day. 

And even then, you forgive all my sins.

In your beautiful name, I say "Amen."" 

35

Just because I smile doesn't mean my heart isn't sore
I'm waiting, but I don't know what for.
Maybe for you to confess your love to me once again
I remember how good it felt back then
Thirty-five days have passed
Since the moment that we thought we would last
But if we compare and contrast
All of our moments
I feel more and more broken
Tears fall to my lap
Just by thinking of taking you back
Thirty-five days have gone by
It's gradually becoming easier to keep my head held high
Your smile could melt my heart
I was definite nothing would ever tear us apart
But no, this isn't just directed towards you
But to the girls who also believed that their love was true
May this keep you all wise
From being hurt by those seductive lies
Harm in disguise
It's the thirty-fifth
Since you were the only one I wanted to be with
And the only way I'm able to cope, is by writing this.

"I Lust You"

The feeling of disgust

plus the lack of trust
Was it love?
or was it lust?
She felt as if she was being rushed
He said he cared
He also said he would always be there
Now this is something they both share
Though she took the pain
You will forever hold the blame
Her heart used to be whole
Nothing can replace what you stole
Emotions and soul,
they feel worn out and old
Who can she run to?
When the person she always went to, was you?
Do you remember the commitment?
Her love has turned into resentment
There is no way out,
but now everything, she has to doubt
Her life has changed
Never the same
And after all of this, she still remains sane.

VIII.XIV.XIV - IX.XII.XIV

CONQUEROR

He had conquered what all thought wasn't able to.

With all of the names, 

All of the shame. 

He got rid of all of the burden,

So he could finally stop hurting.

Only longing for a better life,

Trying to heal his problems with a knife.

A blade, 

He prayed, 

He was only afraid

Of how his future would continue 

Who would he have to look up to?

With all that he had been through, 

His mistakes he just wanted to undo.

Lots of love was given to others,

Yearning the same from his own father and mother.

Trying to impress everyone else's eyes,

Believing everyone else's lies;

He just wanted in,

Surrounded by the temptation of sin.

But he found a way,

Waking up to another day,

Finally getting to speak, what he's always wanted to say. 

He opened up,

Heart resembling a full cup.

He finally got rid

Of all the bad things he had did.

He is now happy,

Not living in agony.

His internal monster,

Had finally met its conqueror.

Get Me Out.

(((Please enjoy my rant...)))

If there's one thing I hate, it's this dang generation. I am so fed up with all these "fads" we are having. I am so fed up with everything we call "popular". So beyond done with how guys are condoning to the idea that it's perfectly fine to be unfaithful and how they believe they don't have to show women any respect. And not just boys, but girls... not respecting themselves, where they thinks it's cute to write songs about how much more awesome their parts are than another female. Also, male artists think it is perfectly fine to talk about how many women they get, how many alcoholic beverages they can purchase in one night, or how much drugs can be consumed? Aren't us, girls supposed to be there for one another, meanwhile there's television shows about who can be the "baddest" and beat up one another over irrevant things. Why is it that girls feel the need that the only to get a guy's attention, is by showing him ourselves, visually? There's just so much hate going on in the world, as a whole, as an ethnicity, as a country, why aren't we supporting one another as well? Why is there violence within our own people? I'm just ready for the good times to come...

SPENT.

I am hideous. 

Horrid. 

Awful. 

Appalling. 

Even with long, extravagant hair. 

Even with a smile that glows brighter than the sun.

Even with curves that mock a valley. 

Hideous. 

But not the physical. 

I am broken. 

Even with a casual grin. 

Even with helping hands. 

Even with the praises of many. 

Broken. 

But not the physical. 

I am weak. 

Even with such strong faith. 

Even when support is given.

Weak. 

But not the physical. 

Definitely not the physical, 

but definitely the mental. 

So many errors and troubles come to pass, 

And I am always the recipient. 

So much buried pain always seems to last, 

Constant reminders, like it's something significant. 

Who is going to actually listen, when hope is way too distant? 

Who is going to comfort me, when the shaking and crying takes over? 

Yell at me if you really desire

All of this exhaustion, and 

Guess who's finally tired. 

More like spent

Needing someone who understands 

Possibly one who I can vent 

Hidden by everyone's happiness

Mine is drained 

Nothing more even remains

But for now life will go on,

That is what I'm wishing upon

No more concerns, 

Just lessons that are going to be learned. 

Pain that is going to have to be dealt with,

However not by scars across my wrist. 

I may be hideous, broken, and weak

But not the physical. 

by: @p.t.p

My mind is all over the place

It's like I wanna win a different race,

But I'm going at a slow pace. 

There is no way to make this go by

Sometimes I feel likes this pain is about to make me die

Sometimes I want to get the Goose, to wash it away

And it gets worse everyday, 

I hate myself in each and every way

People wonder what's wrong inside,

Instead I cover "it" in lies

And late at night, nobody can hear my cries...

Written by: @p.t.p on IG! 

(((THIS IS NOT MY WORK, just something I saw it on Instagram and wanted to repost to show you all!)))